It's All About The Heart

Another reason I was able to see the difference I described in the previous post about the feasts is that I talked to my grandbabies' mother about their behavior. She was bemoaning the fact that they don't listen to her. When she gave me a couple of examples, I laughingly asked, "Haven't you ever heard of a wooden spoon?" She immediately responded that she will NEVER do that, it's abuse, I will never lay a hand on my kids.
If a parent refuses to spank a child, the kid misses out on the blessing of loving discipline but for a mother who has been abused (I think she may have been) and can not spank a child without thinking she's abusing them, her NOT spanking them is the blessing, because it's done out of love. Biblical discipline is the better way but her way is still loving her children and it's not wrong. She COULDN'T spank her children righteously. If she was always "beaten" no matter how it was done or how severely, she doesn't understand the love behind a true physical discipline that keeps a child off of a path that will do him or her harm. Motivation matters! Spanking your child because you see how their character is forming a little crooked and you know the likely future results of it and are determined to keep them from that harm, is SO different from hitting your child because he/she is getting on your nerves. At that point, it doesn't matter whether correction for their behavior is called for or not, it's not being done for the child.

I remember my parents "spanked" me once when I was way too old for a spanking. For a short time, I was furious and hated them for humiliating me like that. Like I said, a short time; it didn't take long before I was humiliated because I realized that, as old as I was, I had driven my parents to the point where they had no idea what to do. I knew it wasn't frustration they were "taking out on me", it was terror that I was not safe because of things I was doing. They loved me and were concerned to the point of fear! THAT'S what I did to these people who devoted so much of their time, attention, resources, and emotions to MY well-being?! I don't recall changing much of my behavior in my life but what I did do was make sure to show them how much I appreciated them and their care and concern for me. I tried to make sure I let them know I noticed and understood the things they did right as parents. God took an awkward situation that could have been disastrous to my relationship with my parents and brought good out of it. It's all about the heart.