Part Two

God puts His spirit in us, we act from that spirit, that's why we are now good, no longer the sinful depraved creatures we started as. We are now holy but does the spirit run everything we say, do, and think? Should, but no. Scripture tells us not to even speak without the spirit giving us the words, how many of us do THAT? We get a message we are to share and then expand it with our common sense and emotions. Perhaps we aren't supposed to do that. Isn't that why Jesus was often silent even though people were asking him things he "could" answer? He had already given the message God wanted the people to hear, they wanted to continue babbling about it all because they wanted to argue about it; God's answer was that they had heard, nothing more needed to be said, it was up to them to hear - HEAR which meant truly accepting and obeying what they heard.

When I wonder why it is that I'm not walking around living fully in the spirit, it's not that I withdraw from it necessarily, like I usually think I must be doing, I just don't know HOW. It's nothing I can do on my own, if God isn't giving me specific words to speak, interactions to have, actions to perform, what am I to do? Live my normal life always aware of any time His spirit gives me something to say or do. There are times when that happens, it's so different than when I just use my reason and common sense in a conversation - those times are when someone's eyes open wide and they look as if they've had a revelation or been struck by lightning. Because if God is speaking through me, it IS a revelation or message from heaven for them. This is why I wonder about some of the people in the Bible, because God gives ME things to say and do, but I know I'm not a walking oracle and that everyone should hear all my words as directly from the throne of heaven.
When we pray for guidance with a decision in our lives, is it that we should be realizing that it doesn't matter? Where we go and what we do in this life doesn't matter at all compared to who we're going and doing with. There have been times - very few, very very few, when I knew that torture, death, tragedy, don't matter at all. It was irrelevant to true reality, I saw it all from a whole different perspective but what do I do with that? I certainly don't WANT to be tortured or see tragedy for my loved ones. Asking to see things from HIS perspective and being granted it is confusing. It left me not wanting to waste time being here. It makes me feel apathetic about this life. I'm realizing right now, I started realizing last night (again?) that He's teaching me to love people somehow with all this. Normally people aggravate me and make me question God - if we are His glory, a crowning achievement, it doesn't say much for God. But I think I'm supposed to see people as He intends them to be and maybe He will give me a way to see it for themselves.