Am I allowed to experiment? Should I be past that point and just accept it; is it (backtracking/regressing) to consider doing this again?
I'm considering an experiment because I just have so much trouble believing the Holy Almighty God is helping me find trivial things. Again tonight - I was looking for a book I needed for my son's work next week and just couldn't find it anywhere. I'm starting a new job and really needed to get all his work together right away, so it was important but certainly not life or death. When I searched the large bookshelf and still couldn't find it, I prayed, "Lord I know this is small but I DO need this and quickly. It's such a small thing but I know you've done it often before. So please help me find this book." I was standing there for a moment thinking about the implications of praying for such a thing, then took a breath and lifted my head..and stared right at the book. Wry grin and a thank you.
So. What is this all about? If He does things like this, why are other things undone? I understand that people are allowed to suffer, I don't like it but it makes sense to me. Some of it. Usually. So why would He be helping me with such small things, daily life trivialities? My experiment will be to keep count of when I find things without prayer and the times I pray but still don't find what I was looking for. Not that it will always have to be something I can't find, I'm not THAT disorganized, but at least things I need. I want to find what the difference is. Am I not noticing when it's coincidence? Or when things fall apart? Is it that things fall apart in a way that needed to be? Did something come out of it that was meant for good?
Obviously that IS what's going on but I want to get some specifics.