Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Doctrine and Living

These are excerpts from Exposing Pharisaic Religiosity Among Us by Shield of David. Here's the repost:

Yahshua did not go around using his time to get into debates over doctrine with a single religious sect among the Jews, or all of them. He stayed outside of them and preached the simple Kingdom message,...

Yahshua did not build a school for academic study or teach his disciples or the masses to go try to get their own scroll copies and sit around for hours and study the Law. He instead took disciples OUT among the people, to show them how to manifest the Kingdom on earth as in heaven, in power, to the destruction of the kingdom of darkness. This shows he was much more concerned with his disciples being empowered and learning to walk in anointed power and compassion among people, than being academically "smart."

Perhaps instead of worrying about doctrine, we can consider the above. It goes along with "by their fruits you will know them." I know that I often realize as I study that I should be LIVING it, not just studying it. Then I can't figure out how to live it, I go about my life with the consciousness of how to live but don't see anything in particular. There was a period in my life that was totally different than anything before or since; I walked around with a perspective that wasn't my own, said things that were meaningful to the person who heard them (and it didn't come from me, I'm rather socially inept on my own and generally wrong about people); I miss that time. Should it always be like that? I can't figure out what it was all about - if God was using me then, why no longer? Did I do something wrong or is He just finished?

Monday, July 28, 2008

The New Church, I Will Go Again

We went to the new church last night, I'll go again. It was very casual, an evening service. There were the usual drums and guitars, all that that I like. What was odd to me was the service being held in a gymnasium instead of the sanctuary, the lights were low, food and drinks were available at the back, and everyone was seated at tables! About halfway through, I realized what it reminded me of - I told my friend it felt like we were in a club instead of church! She agreed but still, it was a great time for making new believing friends. (Not that I talked to anyone, not the first time I went!)

I still plan to go to a morning service, there were too many people that acted like they were there to see a show even though the "spiritual atmosphere" didn't feel like that to me. People even clapped after songs - the lead singer quickly stepped up to talk or pray to cut that off, for her that was definitely NOT what should be happening.
There wasn't a sermon, instead there was a guest speaker and his story, his testimony was incredible! He is one of those who managed to escape the Khmer Rouge (sp?) in Cambodia during the Vietnam War. This puts a face to the persecution going on in other countries, a face to my son's history lessons. I want to tell his story but first I'll see if he has it anywhere in writing - it's his story to tell, not mine. If it's not readily available, I'll go ahead and post it.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Is This The Place?

I'm a bit worried, things may get intense, I don't know for sure. My friend knows I want to go to church and that most churches around here are Mormon and I'm not. (She is.) Someone she knows told her about a church that the woman is thrilled to have found and my friend and i have decided to go. The woman talked about the sermons. She mentioned activities and such when my friend asked for more info but her main emphasis was on the sermons, the Word Of God being preached. My friend and I stopped by a couple of days ago just to have a look. It looks like one of those three-ring circus churches, programs and coffee shop, on and on. But it doesn't feel like it's going to be that way.
I'm scared to death and can't wait to go.
Now I'm feeling normal about it again. It's church.

Who Is This Little Boy?

I don't know much about YouTube so I tried to copy this link so I don't lose it somewhere. Does anyone know who this little boy is? He's amazing!

Little Boy Singing

I'm hoping I did this right...never mind, i found out. It's a boy named Declan Galbraith. He's older now, that video was from about 10 years ago i guess. But the songs he sings now are kind of odd. I don't really know what he's saying in them but I sure like that first one Tell Me Why from when he was little.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Faith? Positive Thinking?

For a long time I wondered what the difference was between "faith" and "positive thinking". I still am not quite sure that we haven't been given power to bring things about with creative words - literally creative i mean. Someone pointed out on a forum that faith itself isn't the power, it's the one in whom we have faith. Good point I think but it still could be that we have more power than we use, just need the right perspective on it. We are often exhorted to meditate on good and noble things, keep our thoughts in control; perhaps constantly concentrating on a desired outcome really can make things come to pass.


Tony on Seeking Things Above posted about seeing a familiar passage in scripture in a new light; I read that then went to Ima Blogger where Tony C. (different Tony) wrote:

The inspiration of the Holy Spirit is astounding as the Bible warns us of such a practice: “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do . . .” (Mat. 6:7). For example, many motivational/success tapes, lectures, and seminars start you off by helping you make your thoughts repetitive.

I always thought of 'vain repetitions' as referring to drawing attention to oneself as discussed in the two previous verses. They're actually separate though, that's clear from verse 8 which says, "...for they think they will be heard because of their many words." This is my example of seeing something completely new in a familiar passage, why didn't I see that before?

Monday, July 21, 2008

New Bodies

I don't suppose we're all intended to "be absorbed into one great cosmic spirit with I AM" because Jesus was given a new body and we're promised one as well. But it is intriguing to think of the things the new bodies will be able to do; live outside of time perhaps, rearrange molecules or fit in between them or such things as that!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Absolute Truth Or Not?

I've noticed that many seem to agree that "the Word (Bible) does not contradict itself, any apparent contradiction is in our understanding only." Why does this have to be an absolute? Why do we think we have to reconcile every verse into one "truth"? The Bible covers everything and every person, why does it only have to say one thing?

Walking in the road is dangerous.

That's true for a two year old living in a city. It's not true for someone out in the desert trying to find the nearest city after a car broke down - for that person, walking in the road keeps him from getting lost and increases his chance of being seen and helped.

A Bible truth may be true for one person at a particular time in his/her life and not true or even applicable at another time or for another person's circumstance.

Friday, July 18, 2008


If we are all to be one, does that mean one spiritual entity? Absorbed into the great I AM? If so, we'd be kind of like an ant colony where the overall 'colony-entity' is what matters. If one ant dies, the colony forms around that gap and continues; a newly born ant fits in the same way, the colony 're-forms' around it and it's now in its place. The colony is what matters and not each individual ant. (Ants may have a totally different take on this!)
What happens to a crippled or maimed ant? What happens to a rogue ant, a lazy ant, the rugged individual ant?


I wonder how many of us will be spiritual adults if our aging is only counted when we "walk according to the spirit and not according to the flesh." How much of our lives actually count?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

They WERE Given Stones

What do we think of those who asked for bread and were given stones? I thought that wasn't supposed to happen. If a child is begging God to make his parents love him instead of hurt him, isn't that receiving stones when you asked for bread?

Is it that we don't recognize the bread as bread? Somehow this is good for the child?
I easily see that He takes evil and brings good out of it but I don't see calling the evil good because of it. Scripture says He causes evil and He causes good. Quite confusing.

This is mainly why I can't get a grip on just "what" God IS. The loving father analogy works in some situations but definitely not all. Sometimes I think it's about us all being one human - all of us as a human race being one spiritual being, rather crippled at this time, disjointed, rather like an army platoon of new recruits or a large group of children learning to move in synch. Some are angry that they have to be in the group at all, some insist on being the leader when they're not, some are confused by it all, some are doing just fine.

The Way to the Father

I'm trying to figure out what it means that we are to come to the Father by Jesus - No man comes to the Father but by me.

Can that include people who live as Jesus did whether or not they know his name? I know it also says in scripture there is no other name by which we're saved. But name doesn't necessarily mean someone's literal human name, especially not in the Jewish culture of the time. It meant authority.

When I read the fourfold path in Buddhism (I think that's the right one), I don't see differences from what Jesus taught. Many spiritual paths seem to be like that, they teach basically the same thing. Not all. And some we are specifically told to stay far away from - not necessarily because there's nothing real, but because they are not the right way to go. If we're being led to a specific destination and several paths are overgrown with thickets that take hard work to get through, some are relatively clear, and one leads through a swamp full of alligators, we're told not to take the path through that swamp! Doesn't mean that you CAN'T get through that way but it's too likely that you'll either never make it or that you'll be swimming and slogging for your (spiritual) life and may end up going away from the place you're trying to reach. Things like trying to contact the "spirits of the dead" and witchcraft, sorcery; these we're warned away from.

Besides, walking as Jesus walked, I doubt that means we are all to go wander the streets doing as he did. Maybe we are. But we're also told to walk according to the spirit, not according to the flesh. We're not talking a literal walk here.

I do not believe all paths lead to "God" but all paths may lead to "Jesus". For those truly willing to live a righteous life, desiring it above all else, that's all a person can do. Beyond that, it's up to God Himself to open their (spiritual) eyes for any next steps. If that means living as Jesus did, all things according to what the holy spirit of God told him, a person can do that without knowing of Jesus specifically I believe. If that's not the case, then that person will be led to know of Jesus somehow or in the next life will be shown the rest of the truth. Why else would Jesus have gone to "preach to the dead" while he was "dead"?

Wow, what is being dead anyway?

Saturday, July 12, 2008


Yesterday or the day before, I was reading a christian post, looked interesting and I really did want to read it. But I didn't. I felt annoyed and clicked right out of it - my reason for doing so is something i find quite disturbing.

I clicked out because it said (paraphrased), "1. Read and see why you are valuable to and loved by God" and it was followed by scripture references.

It made me angry. I see what people do, how they are, I'm supposed to be awed and impressed by a God that thinks this is something good?! I remember several years ago when I finally discovered why my youngest was so horrified at the idea of growing up - he thought that becoming a man meant that he would turn evil and he didn't want to. He thought only women are good and godly and that he was destined to become evil. It didn't help that at school twice, they had a man and a woman from prisons come in to talk to the kids and tell them why crime will ruin everything for them. What he remembered is the statistic that there were more than three (four?) times as many jails for men than women. That didn't help.
For a while, i caught myself trying to prove to him that women were just as bad as men! Soon, I came to my senses and started finding heroic men for him to know about. Then school insisted that he be required to watch the news every single night. I told his teacher that wouldn't happen, this was NOT a good idea for him (one of the reasons he's homeschooled now).

This whole idea of God loving people instead of wiping us all off the face of his beautiful earth is still very difficult for me. This is probably why I want so much to find another church like the one we went to in SC. It was like nothing i ever knew before but hope to find again.

Need an assembly

I really need to find a church, meeting, worship group, prayer group, SOMETHING. My son needs it too. It's a little difficult since most of the ones around are LDS and I'm not. But then I'm no "mainstream" christian either. Rather difficult to get involved anywhere but I almost don't care anymore - as long as I can meet with others who honor, love and worship God with me and honor his son...that's all that matters.

I pulled out some old CDs tonight, I love some lines:

Shaun Groves - "Should I tell them that I am a perfect example of all You can do with a life?" (referring to telling an audience he's only what he is because of Jesus - what if they're not impressed with what he is and figure Jesus must not be 'all that' then?)
Shaun Groves again - "You are the center of my universe..."
Point of Grace - "I wanna believe, without a single question, O Lord hear my confession.." and all the first three songs on the "I Choose You" CD.

I want to be in a crowd of people all singing and praying together.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Being or Doing? Waiting or Working?

On Seeking Things Above, Tony posted about our purpose in life. We know some things from scripture but many of us still wonder whether or not we have a specific purpose, those works prepared for us ahead of time. Is it something we can miss? It used to amuse me, okay it still amuses me, to think my personal work may be to have spoken a kind word to one particular person one particular day. Did I do it? Was I in the right place? Was I in the right mood? Did I react to the prompting of the spirit when it came?
Other times I think that's ridiculous, still amusing, but ridiculous. I can't do one little thing and be done with the requirements, can I? After all, we're told the workers are few, is that still the case? Regardless, whether I have one tiny work to do, one major work to do, many constant small and large works to do, the only way is to be sure everything you do is from the spirit of God working through you.

It feels odd, knowing that God showed me the reality of Himself and then I'm just living a normal life. Somewhere in scripture is mentioned a man who was shown something and was reminded (reprimanded) that many had longed to see what he did but weren't shown. That's what I feel like sometimes; so many people want to see, want to know, want to be assured, some just want their curiosity satisfied, but it doesn't happen. So why me? It feels like I'm hiding, instead of "doing greater works than these" as Jesus said, I'm satisfied to walk in awe and gratefulness in my own little restricted sphere. When I pray and ask, it's with the thought running through the back of my mind that says, But don't REALLY tell me, I want to know but only if you absolutely insist. It may be a real pain.
Maybe I'm getting a bit mixed up on the verse about Jesus doing nothing but what the Father told him. That isn't quite it, is it? He only did what he saw the Father DOING.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

What Can My Friends Say?

Off and on, quite frequently, I think of what I'm giving my friends to say when I die. I think of the typical things said at funerals and wonder, "Can my friends say that about me? Am I leaving them with nothing obvious to say?"

People who are quick to help others, quick to share, those people are easy to mourn and eulogize. But what am I giving people to say about me? Am I making it difficult for them at a time when they will be sad enough already? The awful thing is that I wonder just why these people like me anyway and can't think of any particular reason.
Then I start wondering why I like THEM and what I would say? If I can't think of anything, I need to seriously think harder about how I can appreciate my friends and my family.

I Like The Timing On This

This is great, at Work At Home Mom Revolution, I just found the list she keeps of legitimate work at home jobs. I recognize a few of them and know for myself that they're legitimate. There are at least two that I plan to apply for.

One good thing about not having this job right now (my recently quit job) is that I can now go to see my new grandson in California! My daughter-in-law just sent me another picture of him, he's now four months old and smiling so adorably! Then my friend brought her son over to spend some time with my son and mentioned that her father is going to CA in a couple of weeks and I can take D and go with him! That will cut my travel costs in half and give me a/c in the vehicle, mine isn't working too well. This may be absolutely wonderful!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Worried about this

Something I've just done worries me a great deal. I quit my job.

This was not something I was told to do by God, was the job from Him in the first place? It seemed to be - it pays what I need, it was working from home so no gas worries, it requires no sabbath work. Everything I asked for, everything like an answer to prayer. But I can't stand the job. I hung on for a while because it felt like I'd be saying, "Thanks, but no thanks. Good try but it's just not for me." NOT something I want to say!

They didn't accept my quitting it seems, when tomorrow comes, I can sign in and see if I still have a job or check out a couple other possibilities. I actually found a job that was more physical which is what I wanted. But when I talked to them, they told me they decided they'd prefer me to do their customer service and computer work instead of "wasting me" on the physical part! The whole point of applying for that job was the physical aspect. Taking the job offered would be doing the same thing I'm doing now for a dollar and a half an hour less. True, the customer service I'd be doing would be more to my liking from what I know so far but still...

It would be nice sometimes to have our own personal instruction book, more specific than the Bible, one that says, "Harry, tomorrow at 9:00 a.m., go to the corner of 4th and Main. There will be someone waiting for you and you should say...". Know what I mean? I'm a very indecisive person. I live by principle but often wish I had more specific direction than that.

satan - spirit or flesh?

Several months, maybe a year ago I read articles from a group that claims satan is not a spirit exactly, not some other god that has power over us, but that that's a way of referring to our own "flesh" and our way of trying to claim all rights over ourselves.

Just like making sure we call YHWH by name (Yahweh? Jehovah?) and following rules to keep Him happy with us, the idea of Satan as some supernatural being that lurks and harasses seems too primitive to be real.

The spiritual world is real, I know that. I AM is real. But was there a literal "will so! will not! uh-huh! uhn-uhh!" fight between the Almighty God and some banished "demon" as discussed in Job? The words parable and allegory come to mind...

I believe the laws we keep are to keep our minds on the spiritual aspects of what life truly is. And I don't think they're to please God but instructions for how human life works best. I truly don't know what to think about how we are to live according to these instructions when we are also to accept that governments are established by God - and those governments outlaw following the instructions. We are to obey both; but they're not always in agreement.