Do I Control My Life If I've Given It Away?

There has been so much said about The Secret and Think and Grow Rich and other such ideas, it's making me wonder. How much does our attitude and focus affect life? It must matter, scripture tells us to 'think on' good and noble things, to esteem others better than ourselves, that "as a man thinks in his heart, so is he", other such things.
Is this only to keep our individual selves "on the straight and narrow" or is it because when we all concentrate on good at once, the world will change? That seems likely to me, what seems unlikely is that it will ever happen. Is the only reason we shouldn't constantly concentrate on acquiring money because money isn't a worthy life goal? What if our reason for wanting money is that we want something to share with others?

I see attitude problems in my son, when he's determined to dislike something or be unable to succeed, it seems obvious that he won't. Why should that be unless attitude really does affect things? Does it only affect his own brain? I haven't tried to draw things to me and haven't taught him to do so but perhaps I should. He does know that complaining is wrong and that one's attitude has an effect on one's health and life. Does a negative, complaining attitude affect other people as well? Seems obvious that it does, we talk about people who are unpleasant to be around because of their negativity, and about people we love to be around because they make us feel good due to their contagious joie de vivre (sp?) But does attitude and focus really affect the material world as well? If so, why are there so many people convinced that this plan's a winner, our problems are finally over and they fail? Or abused children who are convinced that they will behave well enough and send out enough love to a parent that they will finally be loved but it doesn't happen?

I've agreed to read and review a book (I don't have the book yet, it's coming) concerning this subject. I thought it would be from a believer's point of view, but I'm not sure, I'll find out when it gets here. Scripture tells us the Father has good works prepared for us ahead of time, if poverty is required for these works to be available to us, why would we think we'll get rich just by concentrating on it? How can desiring many biological children give us those children if our purpose is to take in as our own, children who need a family without the "distraction" of a possible division into "our real children and our adopted ones"?

I find it quite difficult to draw the line between contentment/accepting the will of YHWH, and apathy. Hard to decide if HE put me "here" (whatever situation I may be in) to learn something or do something, or did my own actions do it? Should I be in this situation? How much control do I really have? If I acknowledge that I am not my own, are "my" actions really mine?