Death and Resurrection

There's something I don't understand. On Real Liberal Christian Church, there's a debate (not too friendly) between the host and a Roman Catholic man. One thing the RC man said to me was that RCs do NOT pray to Mary in the way others think of praying - that it's asking her for intercession with the Father. This was in response to my saying I've heard people pray TO Mary. So perhaps the official doctrine is not the same as people do but people do pray to her, asking her to save them from peril, etc.
What I don't understand is praying to dead people in the first place or asking them to intercede for you. If we're supposed to believe the dead saints are alive now then why are they waiting for the Resurrection? Why would there BE a resurrection? All through the Old Testament it's made quite clear that the dead are DEAD.
The New Testament tells of Yeshua saying, "I say unto you today you shall be with me in paradise," to another man on a cross next to him. No comma so where does the today go? Then there's “According to the Lord’s own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.” (II Thessalonians 4:15) Also, the dead in Christ rise first.

It comforts many to think of those they've lost in this life in heaven with Yeshua now. But scripture doesn't say that, they're peacefully "sleeping", it's not a long terrible time for them. The next moment they know will be the resurrection. Besides, Yeshua saying "today" must go to "I say to you" (Old English, I need to check the Hebrew but of course, there was no punctuation anyway) because he didn't go to paradise that day! He was dead and when he DID ascend, first he saw the woman and told her not to touch him because he had not yet ascended to His Father.

All the crucifixion and resurrection accounts differ, some I assume because of what people saw from where they were positioned. But what about the righteous dead coming out of their graves and appearing to many? That's listed nowhere else and it would have meant Jesus was NOT the first resurrected from the dead and therefore not the firstfruits as he is. I also wonder why nobody recognized him - if he was so different, why? They recognized something about him after being with him, was he disguised?