Yesterday or the day before, I was reading a christian post, looked interesting and I really did want to read it. But I didn't. I felt annoyed and clicked right out of it - my reason for doing so is something i find quite disturbing.
I clicked out because it said (paraphrased), "1. Read and see why you are valuable to and loved by God" and it was followed by scripture references.
It made me angry. I see what people do, how they are, I'm supposed to be awed and impressed by a God that thinks this is something good?! I remember several years ago when I finally discovered why my youngest was so horrified at the idea of growing up - he thought that becoming a man meant that he would turn evil and he didn't want to. He thought only women are good and godly and that he was destined to become evil. It didn't help that at school twice, they had a man and a woman from prisons come in to talk to the kids and tell them why crime will ruin everything for them. What he remembered is the statistic that there were more than three (four?) times as many jails for men than women. That didn't help.
For a while, i caught myself trying to prove to him that women were just as bad as men! Soon, I came to my senses and started finding heroic men for him to know about. Then school insisted that he be required to watch the news every single night. I told his teacher that wouldn't happen, this was NOT a good idea for him (one of the reasons he's homeschooled now).
This whole idea of God loving people instead of wiping us all off the face of his beautiful earth is still very difficult for me. This is probably why I want so much to find another church like the one we went to in SC. It was like nothing i ever knew before but hope to find again.