Saturday, July 12, 2008


Yesterday or the day before, I was reading a christian post, looked interesting and I really did want to read it. But I didn't. I felt annoyed and clicked right out of it - my reason for doing so is something i find quite disturbing.

I clicked out because it said (paraphrased), "1. Read and see why you are valuable to and loved by God" and it was followed by scripture references.

It made me angry. I see what people do, how they are, I'm supposed to be awed and impressed by a God that thinks this is something good?! I remember several years ago when I finally discovered why my youngest was so horrified at the idea of growing up - he thought that becoming a man meant that he would turn evil and he didn't want to. He thought only women are good and godly and that he was destined to become evil. It didn't help that at school twice, they had a man and a woman from prisons come in to talk to the kids and tell them why crime will ruin everything for them. What he remembered is the statistic that there were more than three (four?) times as many jails for men than women. That didn't help.
For a while, i caught myself trying to prove to him that women were just as bad as men! Soon, I came to my senses and started finding heroic men for him to know about. Then school insisted that he be required to watch the news every single night. I told his teacher that wouldn't happen, this was NOT a good idea for him (one of the reasons he's homeschooled now).

This whole idea of God loving people instead of wiping us all off the face of his beautiful earth is still very difficult for me. This is probably why I want so much to find another church like the one we went to in SC. It was like nothing i ever knew before but hope to find again.


  1. There is evil in the world. There's also goodness. There are a couple ways to combat darkness. Curse it and call it evil and have nothing to do with it. Or, shine the light into the darkness. If we are to let our light shine before men (be a light to the nations) we must bring the light.
    Put on the full armor of God and do battle with every means at your disposal. What means? Scripture, truth, righteousness, goodness, mercy, patience, justice, humbleness, love.

    Are there people who do bad things? Yes. Are they solely men? No. We need not be afraid of growing up because adults do bad stuff. We need to choose to do the right thing.

  2. It's the reason to be in awe of God. In spite of our failings, He loved us enough to have His Son die for us an redeem us.

    I know you know all this. I guess I'm just saying cling to Jesus.

    It is hard to find a good church, especially if you've been in one before where God was moving.

    Churches are made up of imperfect people. Maybe you can find one where you can be the blessing needed to start God moving in it again.

  3. For me, it is very difficult to find a church. I know that no church is perfect, but the biggest thing about it is that I want people to be "real" and not "act" the role of this happy, no problems, it is in the Lord's hands type of Christian...I'm not saying that these can't be true.

    I also want a place where I feel comfortable to bring my friends. I've been really blessed and all of the churches that I have attended since 1981 are a come as you need to dress up or pretend too much. The biggest things are the pastors are real about their struggles.

    I pray that God will lead you to a church that fits your families needs. Sorry to go on so.